cheryl58's Cancer Blog

June 22, 2008

To all my Bogging Friends

Views: 120

To all my friends on this blog.. What can I say that would express how touched and blessed I felt reading all of your notes of encouragement it helped some much and gave me the courage to take the 2nd wind and carry on. I see my Dr. tomorrow to go over all of my test results again, I am not ready to give up. I know with all the prayers and good thoughts coming my way it will give me the strength to beat this cancer…..God bless all of you I keep each of you in my prayers.
Love Cheryl58

Posted on June 22, 2008 at 4:15:57 PM by cheryl58 ( To all my Bogging Friends, 7 comments)

It is good to have friends. I have said this before, this is a warm safe place when everything else is upside down.

Get better
Mac

Posted on June 23, 2008 at 5:02:49 AM by rigidridr

Hang in there, my friend. Don’t give up. My thoughts and prayers are with you every day.
Hugs,
Joyce

Posted on June 28, 2008 at 7:52:13 PM by joyce

You live in Michigan? Where?

Posted on July 2, 2008 at 1:49:36 PM by sue (unverified)

Cheryl,
I used to live in the down river area too. Taylor and Wyandotte (not sure of the spelling it has been many years) Do they still call Taylor. Taylor Tucky?
I graduated high school from there.
So, how did it go with the doctor?
Donna

Posted on July 5, 2008 at 3:32:26 PM by stage4

cheryl58 (I have a daughter named Cheryl),
Thanks for your sweet comment on my cataract surgery. I still have periods during the day when things are blurry but it seems so good to be able to see much better part of the time.
You said you were suppose to see the doctor on June 23 about your test results. What did he tell you? I have been thinking about you and have been very concerned about you. I know it is so hard but PLEASE DON’T GIVE UP THE FIGHT.
Thanks so much for your prayers. Always remember that my love, thoughts and prayers are with you each and every day forever, my friend.
Hugs,
Joyce

Posted on July 18, 2008 at 3:22:17 PM by joyce

Hi Cheryl,
Whenever your birthday was or is this month let me wish you a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I will be praying that everything will go well with you on July 28 and in the coming months.
Hugs,
Joyce

Posted on July 20, 2008 at 9:48:22 AM by joyce

Hug coming your way,

Sherri

Posted on July 26, 2008 at 12:36:21 AM by karlak

June 17, 2008

Cancer to Hell with it

Views: 147

I can’t tell you how angry I am, just came from the Dr.’s he had my CT results. Well guess what they were not good…...The tumor’s in my lung yes I said tumor’s there are more then one now. Any how they have grown, some not much but some. I have been on so much chemo and drugs and they are still there whats up with that. Today I just fill like throwing in the towel I feel like I am fighting a loosing battle. I have been doing everything I can think of to beat this and nothing seems to be working. Today I am asking WHY.

Posted on June 17, 2008 at 2:30:21 PM by cheryl58 ( Cancer to Hell with it, 6 comments)

Gosh I am so sorry to hear about this latest battle for you. I know you have to be highly upset as I would be also. Don’t throw in the towel you have fought this far so keep on fighting. I know how horrible the femara can be and if you can tolerate that then you can push forward with all this. I will pray for you tonight that this all turns out ok. You are in my thoughts and prayers…Hang in there and here is a big HUG

Posted on June 17, 2008 at 3:03:17 PM by judy214

I am sorry. you are not alone, although it feels like it a lot of time.
You are courageous and strong and you can choose what you want.
Be angry….you have the right to be…..just don’t stay there long.
there is always hope.
i want to share my free book with you to give you hope. you can email me at sheila@sheilaulrich.com

Posted on June 17, 2008 at 5:05:43 PM by sheila (unverified)

So many days, I feel the same. Can’t IT get better. I go throught pain trying to make it better but still nothing or it is even worse. Will there ever be a cure!

Posted on June 17, 2008 at 6:50:09 PM by tabby6680

Cheryl,
I totally understand. I quit chemo a year ago because it quit working and was making me wish I was already dead. Funny thing is once I stopped chemo it still kept growing in the lung and liver but much slower than when I was on chemo.
If you want to talk, email me donnarichno@yahoo.com most people will tell you to stay with it but I can totally relate to how you feel. I did everything the doctors said and even a clinical trial nothing stopped the monster from coming back and growing.
Have you asked the doctor if their are any other chemo drugs to try? Chemo drugs only work for so long then the cancer becomes immune to them.
The last year I have actually been living, something I had not done since being diagnosed in 2005. So have a heart to heart with your doctor if you can trust him and not feel like it’s all about the money for them.
Donna

Posted on June 17, 2008 at 6:59:11 PM by stage4

Don’t throw in the towel. We are here to fight this with you. I am so sorry for the bad news.

Posted on June 17, 2008 at 9:00:55 PM by jill

If you just want to cry for a minute, go ahead. I wish Jill would install hug software, then we could gather around you, maybe prayer software too, I mean, while you are upgrading…

Please don’t give up. Maybe look at the fight in smaller steps, but please don’t give up!

I am praying for you.

Hugz
Mac

Posted on June 18, 2008 at 9:09:55 AM by rigidridr

March 5, 2008

I long for Peace;

Views: 321

I long for peace in my life again. I long to sleep through the night. I long to be pain free. I long to feel good about myself again and not to feel like a burden. I long to be free of the sad looks. I long for the sun on my face and not to be afraid of it. I long to be able to go out when friends call. I long to be able to take my dogs for a walk when the mood hits me. I long for battle free days. I long for days off work and not have to use them for doctor appointments. I long for family and friends not to expect me to be strong all the time. I need people to realize some times I just need to cry and be ok with it. I long for someone to say don’t worry about that I will take care of it for you. I long for people to realize there are days I just can’t. I long to be able to have bad days sometime, I want to be able to be angry, sad or happy with out feeling guilty. I long for my life back.

I long to be cancer free.

Posted on March 5, 2008 at 2:09:33 PM by cheryl58 ( I long for Peace;, 7 comments)

So well put Cheryl.

Posted on March 5, 2008 at 2:55:09 PM by jill

I feel for you and I understand what you mean… especially about the crying. It would upset my husband and girls so much for me to cry that I would have to go hide somewhere to have a good cry. My husband was wonderful about taking care of me but it always tore him up to see me cry, even before I got sick. He was a heart patient and I didn’t want to upset him anymore than I had to.
Please don’t ever feel guilty about any of the feelings that you have. You are just being human.
Try to hang in there and maybe things will be better soon. I will be praying for you. Love and hugs, Joyce

Posted on March 7, 2008 at 8:07:08 PM by joyce

This is why this place is so wonderful. To find you are not alone, that others need to cry and need to rest and that it is alright to tell people that.

I had a very hard time admitting any of these things, I am a big tough biker and crying and asking for help were humiliating, the first time, but the second time it was empowering. I realized that I had to refuse to deal with my cancer on anyone else’s terms.

You have every right to cry! Every right to ask for help! You are in a fight for your life and this is no time to be timid. Tell others what you need and cry any time you want.

Hugs to you, and a internet shoulder to cry on.
Mac

Posted on March 10, 2008 at 11:06:46 AM by rigidridr

Mac well put.

Hugs back.

Sherri

Posted on March 10, 2008 at 5:13:04 PM by karlak

I feel everything you have said. I found these thoughts to be so hard…I decided to just take ONE day..or even ONE second at a time. Take a big breath, sit back and let the sun hit your face as you relax. Let there be time for just you to not think about C. Try and remove it from your thoughts and smile, laugh, be happy even if just for a minute…this helps me and every day… it seems I do it more and more…I just refuse to let this ugly C get the better of me every minute of every day! I hope this helps you..

Posted on April 2, 2008 at 7:19:59 PM by sue123

Hang in there. Rest up. We are thinking of you and sending you some healthy vibes.

Posted on April 3, 2008 at 9:31:35 PM by jill

You worded that perfectly! I just want to cry and someone hold me. Don’t tell me to be stronger, they have no earthly idea how strong I am already.

Posted on June 17, 2008 at 6:53:59 PM by tabby6680

February 9, 2008

Info needed

Views: 359

To all fellow cancer warriors I have a question I will be starting chemo on Thurs this week one of the drugs I will be on it Xeloda it’s a oral drug is their any one that has been on this drug? Any advice about managing the side effect would be much appreciated by me :-) Thank you in advance for your support.

Cheryl

Posted on February 9, 2008 at 5:45:25 PM by cheryl58 ( Info needed, 3 comments)

Cheryl,
I didn’t know whether I should respond or not because I have nothing nice to say about this drug. I took it at the end of chemo when my body was having a hard time with all the drugs.
Keep in mind some people have absolutely no problem with it, I couldn’t function. The only thing I remember was fatigue so bad I couldn’t get up. They tried adjusting the dose but I couldn’t deal. But again, I know a lot of people that didn’t have a problem with it. I took it at the end of a very long hard battle, my body was shot. If I remember right it was about 2 weeks into it when I felt the effects the strongest so if you get thru the first 2 weeks you will probably do fine. Good Luck Donna

Posted on February 11, 2008 at 12:15:24 PM by stage4

I ws on it for almost a year—only real problem I had was hand and foot syndrome. My feet got very bad and I finally went off it. If your feet get dry buy sone bagbalm and put it on thick every night and then cover with socks. This really helped and got me through many months. The foot pain started later on many months on, and subsided on off week…good luck!

Posted on March 15, 2008 at 2:41:30 PM by sue123

Sue thank you for the advice. Would you believe I haven’t started the Xeloda yet. My Ins. copay was 385.95 for 14 day supply I could not afford it. My Dr. and my chemo RN worked really hard and got the drug co. to help me out so I am waiting for it to be delivered some time this week.
Thanks again
Cheryl58

Posted on March 15, 2008 at 6:24:14 PM by cheryl58

January 29, 2008

My voice is gone

Views: 426

Jan 29, 2008
My voice is all but gone, 1st. I started getting a sore throat which led to full on thrush that will not clear up now I am getting blisters on my tongue. My Cholesterol has gone through the roof; they fear the experimental drug on I am on is causing all this. I haven’t slept a night through in weeks I wake up every hour on the hour with major muscle cramps in my legs, nothing helps but heat packs so I am always in the kitchen putting them in the microwave, the cramps are getting worse. I have maybe one bowel movement a week and that is hard at best. I am becoming very toxic. I do believe they will be taking me off this new drug this week. I thought chemo was bad but at least I knew what to except from it, from the past two treatments. I don’t know what is next for me in my battle of the recurring breast cancer. I just hope I was on this drug long enough to have worked. Sorry I am crabbing I just don’t feel very upbeat these days.

Posted on January 29, 2008 at 9:39:14 AM by cheryl58 ( My voice is gone, 3 comments)

I hope that tomorrow is a better day for you!

Posted on January 29, 2008 at 7:22:03 PM by naunie

Hang in there. It has got to get better soon. ;-)

Posted on January 30, 2008 at 5:56:17 PM by jill

how awful to feel so bad everywhere…you’re in my prayers….try and hang in there.

Posted on February 2, 2008 at 2:12:14 PM by sue123

January 3, 2008

Since my last blog

Views: 490

Since my last blog I have had a few set backs. My blood pressure is all over the place and having some bowl problems just a note all of which was expected from this new drug that I am on. Still don’t know if it is working I will be having my scans this month to see if the tumor is shirking or it could be gone. I was told I will stay on the treatment for as long as I can or if it stops working. I am seeing a new Dr. this month for my Arthritis I am so glad I know if I can just get my legs working I would feel better. It is getting increasingly hard for me to walk with my knee and now my ankles seem to be affected. I do manage to get to work everyday but by the end of my 8 hrs I am ready to get home. I don’t do much at all when I do get home just too tired and I hurt so much that all I want to do is go to bed. One bit of good news is my mouth seems to be getting better. I get hydrated a lot when getting my treatment and the day after that seems to be helping with my mouth and that offal taste I get.
The holidays were good and it was great seeing my Dad who came in from New York note he is 93 and was helping me get around pretty sad. He is healthier then I am. I got to see most of my family on Christmas Eve I fear I was just to beat on Christmas day to join in on the festivities my daughter stay home with me and we order in from a local restaurant that was open nothing fancy I was having a hard time eating anyway. I am looking forward to next Holiday season I plan on being much better…… Happy New Year to all my friends who stop by and read my blog……

Posted on January 3, 2008 at 3:41:18 PM by cheryl58 ( Since my last blog, 0 comments)

December 8, 2007

Set back:

Views: 564

Third Treatment:
I had my 3rd treatment on Thursday this past week. I almost didn’t have it, I had a few set backs from my 2nd treatment. I was in so much pain from my arthritis and could not take any Advil or Morton and Tylenol just don’t work I was hardly walking and so depressed with my situation that I felt like throwing in the towel on this new treatment. The Dr.’s finally agreed that I could go back on the Advil and I was thrilled. I went to my regular Dr. on Friday and she strongly disagreed with the Advil because my Blood Pressure was up to 190/108 and she felt the Advil would make it worse. So a discussion began again and they decided to put me on a Morphine patch for pain it’s the lowest dose they can give me and it is working the pain in my knees are bearable and I am able to get around better. A week later, I had my third treatment feeling pretty good. So everything went off with out a hitch. Come Friday morning when I got up for work at 4:30am I was not my self at all I was very light headed and could not get my bearings my blood pressure was at 150/90 (which, lately is the norm) I took my shower hoping it would make me feel better and ate breakfast then off to work I went. I could not shake that feeling of not being with it at all, I had a hard time focusing on my job. Lucky for me I work at a hospital and my boss took me to the ER she was concerned because I was looking very pale I spent most of the day in the ER. They did find I had a bladder infection but no answer as to why I was dizzy my BP was all over the place at 1st then it normalized and I stayed at 127/80 for the rest of the day. They sent me home with no real answers as to what happen. I guess we will caulk it up to a side effect. I slept most of today and still don’t feel much like eating. So I don’t know what will be happing till I see my Dr. on Thursday of this week. I hope I can stay on this treatment. I think it is better then chemo well at least I hope it is. My theory is I know I am not eating as I should and with my dietbites I have to be careful with my food intake. No one addressed that fact but who knows maybe I am crazy.

Posted on December 8, 2007 at 5:32:11 PM by cheryl58 ( Set back:, 2 comments)

Cheryl,
I thought about something while I was reading your post. Are they giving you anything for low blood count? This can cause pretty severe pain similar to arthritis but worse. Also is GM-CSF part of the trial drug therapy? It was part of my clinical trial and made my joints very painful. I had a hard time walking.
I have arthritis too, and when the pain got much worse I finally made these connections. I would just take advil or whatever helps and monitor your blood pressure to make sure it doesn’t get too high.
Be careful with your sugar counts and blood pressure, that sounds a little scary. Are you sure you were not dehydrated?
I almost passed out taking a shower while on chemo and later found out I was dehydrated. I hadn’t drank water in 4 days. The chemo nurses were very angry with me for not calling sooner but at the time I was too sick to notice I went that long without water.
Hope next time is better.
Donna

Posted on December 8, 2007 at 9:46:17 PM by stage4

I agree about watching the dehydration. I had chemo on Friday and noticed on Saturday that I was hardly drinking anything. I wasn’t thirsty. It’s easy to let it slip up on you. I drink Gatorade after chemo for the first couple of days. I started pushing the Gatorade yesterday and I can tell by looking at my hands that I am pretty well hydrated.

It can be really hard sometimes to eat and drink but like my chemo nurse is always reminding me—that’s how you push the poison out of your body. However, I do have to say that I am one of the fortunate ones that doesn’t have nausea after chemo. I have other problems that made me not want to eat or drink but (knock on wood) I not suffering from those now.

I hold you in my thoughts and prayers.

Posted on December 9, 2007 at 11:35:23 AM by carolmcb

November 24, 2007

2nd treatment

Views: 575

Well I made it through my 2nd treatment with no really side effects. I have to have my urine tested before each treatment to see if I have a build up of protean in my urine; it showed a slight elevation from the 1st treatment. This brought on a debate on if I should get the 2nd dose. After much discussion with several people it was concurred by all involved that they should go ahead. I was a point 0. 3 per parts the 1st treatment and by the 2nd treatment I went up 3 more points to 0.6 I guess the cut off is 2.0 So I have to get tested every week from now on. I guess their worry is I am a diabetic. I am glad they are so careful with me. I have stopped taking any Tylenol products because of the effects they have on the Liver. So that leaves me with no choices for pain meds. At least till next weeks appointment to see how I am doing.. I guess this is why they call this a trial.
I do have an interesting thought I am a diabetic and have always had problem regulating
My sugar lately under new meds I have been doing pretty well but I still would have my days were my sugar would be high in the AM. Well, since I have been doing this study I have noticed something funny… My sugars have been better then normal I run no higher then 120 more often around 98-94 which for a diabetic is better then good. I wonder if this new trial drug for my cancer has anything to do with it.

I had a great Thanksgiving ate good food and enjoyed the company. I have to give hats off to my Daughter for her 1st Thanksgiving dinner it was great.. I hope all my friends had a great Thanksgiving with family and friends.

Posted on November 24, 2007 at 7:53:19 AM by cheryl58 ( 2nd treatment, 1 comment)

Keep up the fight! :-)

Posted on December 4, 2007 at 11:27:03 AM by sue123

November 18, 2007

Thank you

Views: 610

Just wanted to say Thank you to all for your support it means a lot to me to read you comments and your encouraging words.
Just a note my mount sores have cleared up My Dr. gave me a mouth wash which worked really fast I am glad of that it was getting hard to eat… Look out Thanksgiving here I come, can’t wait for turkey dinner that I don’t have to make..
Everyone please have a great Thanksgiving and remember the calories don’t count…

God Bless all of you

Cheryl

Posted on November 18, 2007 at 6:35:40 AM by cheryl58 ( Thank you, 2 comments)

You are welcome. Thank you for being there for us too. Have a great day Cheryl!

Posted on November 18, 2007 at 8:36:24 AM by jill

Cheryl58, Hope that you can help me out… You said that you had sores in your mouth and that your doctor gave you something for it.. Well my wife has had sores in her mouth now for about 3 months and cannot get rid of it, they say that its burning mouth syndrome, but who knows.. What is the prescrition that your doctor gave you. I would like to talk to my doctor obout it…
I sorry for all that you have been through but sometimes it makes us stronger if we keep the faith.. Thank Cheryl 58.. Ray O. my email address is oullette@shaw.ca

Posted on November 22, 2007 at 5:33:17 PM by rayoflights7

November 16, 2007

One week into my new treatment

Views: 726

One week into my treatment: I saw my oncologist yesterday and my blood work looked good. I am experiencing some small side effects. I have some sores in my mouth mostly on my tongue and my blood pressure was a little high 154/80 I usually run 110-120/70-80 he was not surprised, said it was to be expected they will have to keep an eye on it though.. I can not taken any anti inflammatory drugs for my arthritis, so needless to say my knees are giving me so trouble it is hard for me to walk, and they hurt. So I am looking into a more natural cure for my problem. I have taken to drinking ginger root tea and of course I am on the apple cider vinegar drink. Trying to walk as much as I can and I sighted up for water aerobics starting next week. I sure hope this works. It is a small price to for a cure and my cancer will be gone for more than a year.

Posted on November 16, 2007 at 3:38:28 PM by cheryl58 ( One week into my new treatment, 4 comments)

Sorry about the arthritis pain. Keep after the doctors, surely, they can think of something.

I hope that the mouth sores clear up. I have mouth irritation but, so far, have not had actual sores. It’s no fun thinking about Thanksgiving with mouth sores.

You remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Posted on November 18, 2007 at 12:38:48 AM by Anonymous

Don’t know why my above entry didn’t carry my ID. Any way, it’s Carol wishing you happy Thanksgiving.

Posted on November 18, 2007 at 12:43:30 AM by carolmcb

Hang in there, Cheryl. Keep up the good fight. You’re in my prayers. Hugs…Grace

Posted on November 18, 2007 at 5:52:06 AM by sky

My Dr. gave me some adhesive pain patch’s and they work very well on my knees. Maybe your Dr. can give you some. They are ‘precription’, called: Lidoderm, Lidocaine patch 5%. I think they are pretty new.
Good luck!

Posted on November 24, 2007 at 11:19:36 AM by sue123